Cold, hard lessons

Why do we do it? Why do we allow ourselves to be swept up in a moment that we think is going to be to our benefit, therefore will last forever, or at least for some time? How do we learn to stay away from volatile situations that can only bring anguish, pain and huge amounts of regret?

Whilst I have learnt to not be responsible for other's actions - or, more appropriately RE-actions - it still weighs heavy, this feeling of once belonging, once adored even, and suddenly cut off and shoved aside like an encumbering shroud finally escaped from. Still, if nothing else I have my creative expression, results of which will be eventually recognised, taken up and bandied about like an almost vengeful quest.

I have to keep telling myself that my own battle with cancer is quite enough to keep me busy for a long while yet, and to let go of this once blissful millstone - perhaps things will change; even so, I know I have, and do not wish to be involved in anything that might detract from my own healing.

As to yesterday - my own family - I can't believe siblings can be so different from one another with values and priorities. Inappropriate conversation in front of our mother in an elderly citizens' facility - can't believe my sister sometimes. Nothing, but nothing is likely to serve as assistance for her to come to a realisation that her behaviour causes real damage - to all.

I have my beautiful son, who is very happy with a new and hopefully lasting relationship - may that be my piece of sunshine for today and as long as it might last.......