Remind me how success is measured again..?

I am absolutely exhausted; mentally and physically, from that long conversation I just had with my sister. There was passion, anger, sarcasm, spite, hurt, vindictiveness and tears (on my part). My phone said 168 minutes 47 secs as the time recorded for the length of the call....record for me I think - even when I was going through my divorce!

I began talking about girly things like recipes, gluten free cooking, and comforting things like how much the cooler weather is now being enjoyed and appreciated by both of us. When I began relating to her the real reason for my call, of couse she became immediately suspicious, abrasive and defensive. I had researched for myself beforehand some helpful pointers for dealing with persons who have been dealing with so much stress and intimidation in their lives, that they display exactly these behaviours, when suddenly my sister said clear as day to me herself that " I do it to protect myself". Exactly so!

We moved on to her counselling sessions, why she felt they hadn't been at all helpful, and I then as gently as possible related the fact that people had been finding her very difficult to deal with. She has agreed to apologise and discover for herself "just what it is she is supposed to have done". This is a baby step - at least she is accepting responsibility - perhaps....

As to the legal question, and the fact the she chose to enquire about things without consulting her other two sisters, that part of the conversation was, I have to say, really a shouting match.....oh how the green stuff can change our personas, if we have differently prioritised views on its management, benefits and accompanying risks!
This was the worst part, which I knew would come, but we got through it. I don't believe all that was said was the truth but I need to let that go. She also actually agreed to apologise to our family executor, by aligning her experience of corporate accountants' and lawyers' firms to her need for knowing that due process was being followed in a timely way. I tried to point out that our executor was a little different, in being a person who found it truly hard to say no to the underprivileged and less fortunate of society who need his help, consequently things take longer. Also, the very process of dealing with deceased estates, solicitors, associated family takes time.

I hope that I have achieved something tonight - I feel for myself that I have. Whether she chooses to take my suggestions, love, concern and candour on board is another thing - I guess only time will tell.

And so to bed......at 2.09am......having tried to once again let go of it all..........finishing with one of my favourites from Alain de Botton's "How Proust can Change Your Life".....'recognize that our best chance of contentment lies in taking up the wisdom offered to us in coded form through our coughs, allergies, social gaffes, and emotional betrayals, and to avoid the ingratitude of those who blame the peas, the bores, the time, and the weather.'