'tis raining - hoorah!

Wednesday February 10, 2010

A strange day today - we had been experiencing oppressive heat and humidity, when suddenly a violent thunderstorm erupted - complete with hail; which, after such hot conditions, made it surreal. There they were, my work colleagues in the other offices...all standing at the very large window absolutely transfixed by this novelty of rain and hail. It was a scene from a comedy movie- when I let myself in with my electronic passcard, their backs were to me....they all turned round as one little mass, looked at me & laughed! All I could think of to say was: "what? not my fault!" Hilarity in the working day...always a great thing. When I returned in my little chariot to my own office, my colleagues there were anxiously looking out of the window at me, as if I had been swallowed up by the storm! Such goings on with some weather change, rain and finally - coolness!

The last couple of days, I have experienced a huge sadness, with discovering a rather ugly side of a sibling. Oh the unfortunate consequences of over-the-top reactions to a parent's passing and the impending "how much do I get and when's it coming?" They say there is always one in every family, but how very sad and wearing. One thinks one knows all the little idiosyncracies of our family members, tiptoes round them, tries to make the best of potentially volatile situations - takes me back to some Christmases!

What is one to say; how is one to react, when we discover that legal boundaries have been crossed and strongly forged professional relationships tested to the max; all because of a family member who suddenly displays an ugly, greedy almost irrational side? While all the time we try to protect the surviving parent, who has no idea of the rumblings occuring amongst her children.

I try to put myself in her shoes - trying to ascertain what she's feeling and why she needs to know all of this formerly private information, being handled by a power of attorney, right now. Questioning his integrity, professionalism and the time he takes to formulate due processes. And I confess I can't begin to imagine why she would leave us out of her scheming and calculating when we have always talked together about everything and shared everything......who knows what will come next?

Perhaps a quote from Book Five of Mediations by Marcus Aurelius may suffice at this juncture:

"Judge every word and deed which are according to nature to be fit for thee; and be not diverted by the blame which follows from any people nor by their words, but if a thing is good to be done or said, do not consider it unworthy of thee. For those persons have their peculiar leading principle and follow their peculiar movement; which things do not thou regard, but go straight on, following thy own nature and the common nature; and the way of both is one. "

I will ponder this as I sleep tonight, perhaps to gain some comfort.

I just know that I am exceedingly grateful for my new little rural job, a circle of wonderful caring colleagues, occasional "kick up my heels" with friends in the city, and a bevvy of wonderful books to read - thank you Alain!